Where do our politicians come from?

Here is my question of the day – Where do our current crop of politicians come from?

All things have origins and that origin most often tells you the nature and intent of the thing in question.

To example:

Natural features and life are accepted to originate and evolve over time: Landscapes, Plants, Animals all take form, grow, adapt and, ultimately cease to be as conditions demand.

Some things have their origin in story; Max Boyce, the Welsh singer and comedian with a passion for Rugby Union created the myth of the great Welsh Fly Half Factory hidden deep in the South Wales Valleys within which a magical production line turned out Welsh No 10s of exceptional skill and quality.

If so then in no particular order could it be true that ; Cliff Ashton, Phil Bennett, John Bevan, Bleddyn Bowen, Roy Burnett, Billy Cleaver, Tony Clement, Malcolm Dacey, Adrian Davies, Gareth Davies, Glyn Davies, Jonathan Davies, David Evans, Carwyn James, Neil Jenkins, Barry John, Glyn John, Cliff Morgan, Peter Morgan, Gary Pearce, Alan Rees, Bryan Richards, Ken Richards, Mark Ring, Colin Stephens, Alun Thomas, Arwel Thomas, Malcolm Thomas, Paul Turner, Dai Watkins, and Bleddyn Williams are all creations modelled and sprinkled with Stardust within this secret facility?

Considering Our Politicians; Looking backwards in time the greats came forged out of and by experience of life gained from industrial success, military campaign or landed wealth – I offer as examples: Benjamin Disraeli (the1st Earl of Beaconsfield, KG, PC, FRS.) and William Ewart Gladstone (FRS FSS) to whom Politics was a vessel built to sail on the achievement of success and good.

To leap forward, We are still in living memory of true leaders and visionaries with real political ambition. I offer you the examples of: Churchill, who lead Britain through the dark years of the Second World War; Beverage, whose seminal report set the blue print for the NHS; Attlee ,who as the post-war Prime Minister gave physical form and birth to that blue print; Thatcher, who halted the 1970’s “sick man of Europe” decline of Britain and initiated painful but necessary reform and Blair, as marmite as Thatcher and for good or bad as influential in terms of impact.

All the above examples displayed a clear vision and the drive and ambition to deliver the necessary change to match that ambition with tangible results. As importantly each was able to call on and be supported by Ministers and MPs of stature and ability, long in Parliament but also grounded in real life with successful careers behind them in Military Service, Industry, Law or Accademia and Science that gave independence of thought and understanding of real world consequences of Parliaments actions.

Contrast these examples to our current crop of parliamentarians. I freely accept that some are driven by passion and a sense of vocation. But, Is it not tempting to muse that as home grown Welsh No10s were supplanted by ready assembled products from overseas and demand fell away the Welsh Fly Half factory closed. Its skilled artisans pensioned off. The equipment disassembled and sold on to new owners who, recognised the potential to repurpose its production lines, reduced design and build costs with simplified production using CAD design and 3D printing and in place of rugby stars start to produce a new product - production line act-alike politicians. Each one printed from the same CAD file and each containing a flash programmed memory chip, together with Blue Tooth and Wi-Fi connectivity that allowed the figure to speak and act out the appropriate sound bite recorded messages, loaded and periodically updated by the buyer’s service departments.

Unlike the original line which would only let perfection pass through the factory gates if these new political models were found to be substandard by quality control or returned under warranty by their purchaser rather than destroying them the new policy was that they were to be refurbished and sold at discount as factory seconds or marked “For Use in Local Politics Only”

Could it be possible that many of the MPs who entered Parliament in the last 3 elections, including some now holding high office, are products of this production line? It would explain why in terms of political impact and personality this group is so homogenised and as memorable to the person in the street as the average Garden Nome.

To test this hypothesis a quiz: take a piece of paper and a pen and, without resorting to the Internet and a Google search, write down the names of the current holders of these 10 senior cabinet positions and their opposition shadow member?

1. Prime Minister

2. Chancellor

3. Foreign Minister

4. Home Secretary

5. Secretary of State for Defence

6. Secretary of State for Health and Social Care

7. Secretary of State for Business, Energy and Industrial Strategy

8. Secretary of State for Work and Pensions

9. Secretary of State for Education

10. Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs

Your score?

Now think what you can remember each of them saying that resonated and showed independence of thought and personality.

So the suggestion I pose is that the Factory is real and we are represented by a crop of production line identikit politicians individually vacuous in policy and lacking identity; capable only of offering up the pre-programmed party line - usually in a succession of short read articles and 5 minute “interviews” with equally vacuous TV or Radio presenters whose only aim seems to be to capture a “gotcha” mis-statement or an off script comment almost certainly relating to some topic of near zero importance to the average voter.

My example politicians deal with such interviews by defaulting to their ever ready “pull the string to talk” answers and pronouncements, all of which are carefully scripted and pre-loaded on their flash drive by “Central Office” to ensure the delivery of safe answers designed to impart no knowledge on the listener but ensure the interview time runs down without serious “misspeak”.

To test this theory ask yourself how any of these marionettes would perform in a 40 minute primetime deep interrogation by an interviewer such as Brian Walden? (anyone under age 50 see this link).

How long would the bluster of current top of the class Boris Johnson last him in a Walden interrogation?

How much more like Red Dwarf’s Kryten would Keith Starmer appear after 40 minutes serious interrogation on values and policy from an interviewer such as Walden who understood in minute detail both topics and the internals of the Labour Party?

How many times would a HTTP 500 internal server error flash in their eyes?

So, what is the answer to the question, where do our current politicians come from? Could it be possible that the Factory actually exists and they are indeed cut to a cost pared pre-cut template using the remnants of once magical equipment and modern APi interfacing to facilitate effective centralised Command & Control to produce “on message” identikit clones?

If so these politicians are a product far removed from the creations of the talented and skilled labour and stardust of that secret Welsh Valleys Factory that crafted a truly limited edition set of handmade, world class, Welsh Fly Half’s.